I Didn’t Get “It”

I didn’t get it. I didn’t feel it. The guilt and shame that I felt from not feeling it was consuming.

“It” being the euphoria that they talk about when your baby is placed on your chest. The empowerment and pride for what you’d just achieved.
The bursting, overflowing love for your tiny human.

In the days and weeks afterwards I still didn’t get that bursting love. Care providers said to trust your mothers instinct, “you’ll know what they need”. But how could I, when you still felt like a stranger?

It took time, way more time than I thought it would and help. Help from my circle and from professionals.

But Mumma if feel this too, you’re not alone. It’s ok to admit it to yourself and to others. You’re not any less for it.

And it will come, the love, the missing them when they sleep, staring at photos of them when they’re not with you.
Keep going Mumma, one hour, one feed, one day at a time 🧡